/what do you do

what do you do when all you want is to be with them, wish they felt the same way and want the same things you do. what do you do when they don’t feel the same way, because really. he doesn’t. sad to think we’ve only come this far, sad to see us go to such limits. we could of had it all, right? sitting here looking at past occurrences, memories, stories. they all are bittersweet. couldn’t we just go back to the way things used to be? sighhhhhhh

/it only gets harder from here on out

no more snuggling after six, no more secret handshakes, no more forehead kisses bye, no more comparing the sizes of our hands, no more play fights, no more playing tag, no more anti-shopping, no more hiding under the bed, no more goodmorning/goodnight texts, no more pinching your butt, no more airplanes, no more holding hands subconsciously, no more brotalks, no more messing up your hair, no more running down the hill, no more piggyback rides, no more sleeping by your side, no more hide and seek, no more water game, no more teasing eachother, no more tickling your ears, no more white socks,no more waiting for your texts/calls, no more pointless arguments, no more screaming at the top of our lungs, no more public fights, no more useless tears, no more silence, no more hurtful words/actions, no more broken promises, no more false hopes, no more.. no more you.

/what i’m sure of
  1. I love you.
  2. Waiting on you.
  3. Just plain confused over “us”.
  4. Don’t want bullshit.
  5. Trust.
  6. Understanding.
  7. I want “us" to last.
  8. Fighting for everything we fought for. The memories.
  9. Effort and Willingness.
  10. I’m seriously in love with you. I could do anything, go through anything, to just be by your side still at the end of the day. There’s no doubt to my love. But there is a limit..
its all in gods hand’s now.

where we at, are like cross roads. left or right, we can literally go up or down at this point, only time will tell.

/march28

that moment where you wait for a particular call, from an extremely important person, concerning a talk, that i would very much love to avoid. i’m tired of throwing punches and arguing over the stupidest things. i’m tired of you getting mad over the littlest things and over thinking every single scenario possible. can you not be like this right now? seriously its true when they say date someone who is the oldest if you are the middle/youngest. in my case, your like a baby. i always have to straighten out situations, i always have to give in and be the bigger person. i’m not down for that, not for this long, i can’t be the only one giving effort if your not going to. fucking role reversal right here. i honestly need someone who takes care of me. who will take the role that i shouldn’t be in right now. Right now, we’ve reached the climax and were going nowhere fast.

When you are about to give up on someone, remember why you held on and fought so hard in the first place.

mrrmmmphhh.

/really hate you

seriously tho. how is it that i’m the one not being able to sleep. waiting for that one call. that one text from you.. its not fair. if i was that precious to you and you were that crazy about me.. then that would be the least i expected from you .. something to show me that you weren’t okay either… but i guess you are okay.. i’m not fucking okay… and at that time i made a choice.. i said it was mind over, you know, the mushy stuff. fuck the feelings… whether it was a deeper meaning or just casually happened.. either way i just want to sleep. stop putting up a front. or maybe thats how your true colours really are.

hey, broken heart. please let me rest tonight. let me be at ease, for just a little bit? then you can resume to your usual routine; hurting me.
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. - Bob Marley
4minute – 모르는 척 (Pretend)

I picked up your phone call that I was anxious about it, I pretended like nothing was wrong and continued to talk. Your voice. You said you had something to say, because it sounded sad I had a hunch of sadness.

Those words, because it feels like they will hurt too much.
Those words, because it feels like I can’t go back.
Those words, because it feels like this will be the last time.

Because I’m not prepared at all yet, because I don’t have the courage to go on without you. I know, your heart has moved on already so instead I pretend even more. I’m blocking out your last words like this, I pretend I don’t know.

You listened without saying anything. First, you said you were sorry. My tears are flowing without me realizing it, I felt a hunch of sadness that this was the end.

Because it’s like this I feel like this is ending.
Because it’s like this I feel like I won’t see you again.
Because it’s like this I feel like this will be the last time.

If I can hold onto you like this. If I can change your mind.
It’s fine if you just stay without saying anything.

The difference between you and I

I don’t have the courage to go on without you.

if your gonna be like that just leave already.

Bottom line is, i felt that you didn’t fight for yourself, for us, you didn’t prove to me that it isn’t you, that you weren’t concerned of how i was thinking that you could of possibly cheated on me. it frightened me that you thought of it so lightly, Like you could care less if that was you. I know by how you say it, it couldn’t be you, (that or I’m just convincing myself). I’m doing your job for you. What I’m trying to say is, am I important to you? If someone is important to you, you have to show them that you care… because if you don’t, one day they’ll give up and eventually stop caring. Aren’t you scared?

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