/I didn’t do anything

whaaaaat, your excuses are bs. i really don’t know what to say. mind set straight, heart in another place. i don’t know what to do at this point. sad how it turned out like this over something so small. hmmmm

/march28

that moment where you wait for a particular call, from an extremely important person, concerning a talk, that i would very much love to avoid. i’m tired of throwing punches and arguing over the stupidest things. i’m tired of you getting mad over the littlest things and over thinking every single scenario possible. can you not be like this right now? seriously its true when they say date someone who is the oldest if you are the middle/youngest. in my case, your like a baby. i always have to straighten out situations, i always have to give in and be the bigger person. i’m not down for that, not for this long, i can’t be the only one giving effort if your not going to. fucking role reversal right here. i honestly need someone who takes care of me. who will take the role that i shouldn’t be in right now. Right now, we’ve reached the climax and were going nowhere fast.

Fuck it all

It doesn’t matter, the fact that its a “celebrity” does it even matter. The fact that your staring at girls short ass skirts and see their bottoms underneath is far enough. Just because I don’t dress that skimpy, you can see it on other girls?! Tight ass shorts that their butt falls out. And you have the nerve to compare me?! I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU WON’T EVER UNDERSTAND WHERE I’M COMING FROM. MAYBE YEAH IM FUCKING CRAZY. For getting upset over you watching stupid girls like that. But Fuck it. I feel degraded, and that I obvious am NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU SO YOU HAVE TO WATCH OTHER THINGS FOR EYE CANDY. YOUR STUPID GIRL ON YOUR WALLPAPER BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO UNIMPORTANT AND UNLOVED. I AM LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANTED. I hate this. No wonder I keep feeling insecure about myself. Its come to this, where you don’t make me feel special. I deserve someone who actually cares about me and my feelings. And listens, not fucking second guess myself. I’m furious. I’m shaking. I feel like scum for liking someone like you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. How about you go ahead and date someone like that, Your ideal girl. GO ahead. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to get wrapped up in this and sound bitter but I don’t want to do this. I hate this. I hate you.

You know what

Go ahead, and go. I’ll like to see if you can find a honest, sincere, genuine, girl. Go ahead, I’m sure the relationship you kick off will be amazing. Since it all started from grinding on one another, dressed all slutty as a school girl. When you guys are drunk as hell and hooking up, hell maybe you’ll nail her tonight too. This mysterious kind of feel to it. That your just having “fun”. I’m sure the relationship will go hella far. Go ahead, go have fun and find your next girl. Compared to how we first met, I’m sure meeting this new girl will be so much better. She is defiantly wifey material.

Fuck it

I keep telling myself its gonna be okay, you’ll find yourself there, its for the best. Fuck it. As much as I try to over look it, if you got me in your fucking mind but your still gonna go out and do me like that. Then fuck it. Fuck it Fuck it. I trying my all for you, keep me waiting, play me like a motherfucking fool. Don’t show up in front of me all day, no text’s no communication, you don’t want to deal with me. Go ahead continue to hide it from me. And after your gonna hit me up? Play me completely oblivious. Clearly no matter what, nothing I do is gonna stop you from laying hands on another girl. Clearly, are you stupid? I don’t want you to go. Can you not just go? Yes I’m being selfish but really, really your gonna do me like that? Fuck it really, Fuck it. The way this turns out I really won’t want any part of you anymore. I’ll feel stupid for thinking about you, for waiting for you, for missing you, for telling all this stupid shit on tumblring thinking you turn right around. Maybe you’d act different if you fucking really knew how I fucking feel. But then here I am, a hypocritical bitch, because I can’t hate you. Because I fucking love you! Don’t you fucking see that, yeah step on my heart. And when your dancing with that slut I hope you realize that your losing me every little touch. Yeah I’m a jealous bitch, Fine. But honestly, if you ask your fucking self this question. If you got a fucking girl waiting on you, and your thinking bout her too, why the fuck you gotta do her like that. Why you gotta do me like that.

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