Revisting my depressing teen years in my personal posts

the most emotional wreck award goes to me. yay

Don’t ever date me

Just take my advice. I bet you couldn’t handle it. I’m pretty strange. I’m defiantly ordinary.

People are annoying

Seriously though. But you know what? If it wasn’t for you, if you never came into my life, I would of never realized what I truly deserve. To be fucking happy. I would of never seen my self worth. And I would never of learned to avoid douchey people like you. I thought it would get easier from here on out, but some how, some fucking way, you meddled into my life again. Find your own path please. Be a little bit considerate here please. Shit. Can I at least get some breathing room here?

insomina x emotions

sometimes I avoid sleeping so I can avoid that terrible moment where I think about everything and anything possible. all my thoughts will swallow me whole, I swear. I wish there was an off switch somewhere, what it is usually is when I pass out from exhaustion, then sleeping comes easily natural. yeah I haven’t had one of those in a while. tonight was way too much to handle. I’ll try it again tomorrow night, or I guess tonight. Goodmorning.

That really did mess me up though.

Who knew after all this time, it had come to this. Me and my bad decisions.

Thats it.

Just when life was getting good, at my own pace, life likes to fuck things up and bring me back to square one; I can’t trust anyone anymore. I am an honest person, I’m blunt, I have nothing to hide. But knowing that people I don’t even know, acquaintances the least, like to twist stories and butt into my life is scary. How does the bad things always float above the good. I’ve always been a nice person, or I’d like to think so. I try to be nice to anyone, to people who aren’t nice to me or even acknowledge it because I know that they have their own pile of problems to deal with and I don’t want to be one of them. I have my own issues to deal with too. Yeah I’m not in school, yeah I go out alot, yeah I have new friends. I didn’t change, I learned. I learned life is too short, be yourself, embrace who you actually are. I learned that you also have all the time in the world to find something you love to do, not crunching numbers and find just that ‘stable’ job. I learned to surround myself with people who legit actually care about me and not worry about those who don’t provide the same effort that I did. I learned how to have fun, to not worry about what other people think and to let loose. I learned to find happiness within myself rather then finding someone to fill in that missing space. I learned patience, I learned friendship, I grew. And as cheesy as this all sounds, I don’t care. Its for me. This is all for me, because at the end of they day all you really have is yourself. So life will throw me this curveball, but this too shall pass.

Life is too short

seriously just be happy, its about that time.

I’m still hungry

omg.

Someone make me food.

I’m hella hungry but my legs are broken. That and my body can’t mood. Like paralyzed, I’m sleepy. So instead of getting up and making gyozas imma just lay here on the couch and listen to the weeknd. At least I have tomorrow off. My head freaking hurts. So many problems. I can’t fall sleep because I’m too hungry, I can’t make food because I’m too tired oh my god. Someone save me. Sorry guys.

Couldn’t sleep so I revamped my tumblr

Been so long since I’ve updated my tumblr. Before it was just a big plain of space, never really went on it. Hummm, but I guess insomnia leads you keep yourself busy. Busy with unimportant things that will probably be of no use to me and continue to make me procrastinate when actual important things pop up. Yes. But I didn’t just remodeled this one, but also my main one too! If you guys don’t already know I have my main blog, here, where I reblog things that fashionably inspire me and spark my interest. A fashion related topic, but if your interested in it please check it out! Anyway, I’m going to start posting more from now on for both blogs. Probably more consistently on my fashion blog. Somethings been on my mind lately and I need to find some things to preoccupy myself. So tumblr is my answer. Yeah. this is going to end abruptly.

I think I need to grow up a little bit

I need to get my shit together. figure out school. Take care of my body. Don’t procrastinate. Make goals and strive towards success. I should never settle. Go get my drivers. Read a new book. Something. Because I think right now I wanna better myself at least, I want to be happy with myself, than to find happiness in you. That’s what’s best for me.

So relatable right now.

I’m not going to ruin the happiness between you two, but you destroyed me in the process. Took advantage of my trust and made me feel stupid in the end.

how do two hours just pass by like nothing.

maybe I grew too attached, can you blame me? we follow the same routine lives and I grew so accustom to our talks. the funny thing is that you weren’t even mine to begin with. hah. this was what i was afraid of. this would go alot easier if I just played a little bit smarter then maybe I wouldn’t be in this predicament. I just want my bed.

#tbh I’m thankful for all the amazing people that came into my life. for the times that I needed it and unexpected. you don’t know it, but it seriously changed my life.

dear no one

So if your out there I swear to be good to you. But I’m done looking for my future someone.

Cause when the time is right you’ll be here but for now, dear nobody, this is your love song.

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